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Panic Button Activated
Today went all the way back to school. To realise that lessons were cancelled. Basically i went to sch for nothing. Ya. How nice. How near.
Am now freaking out in fright. Dying in trepidation. Fear. Fear. Nightmares. ArGh. Expecting a call frm Shila sometime 10plus. Mebbe that might help calm me a little. Sheesh man, my heart's been beating like ulra fast.... and NO its not other reasons, its just Os. I had 4 consecutive nightmares this morning. Same scenario. Dun need guess u all also noe la. I got L1R5 70, 60, 36 and 28... oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no.......................................................help. Got no mood and not much space in my brain to tink. sorry. argh. argh. i dunno wad else to type now. see u guys soon. er, i hope. I surely will msg someone or other after my results release, i tink. Cross ur fingers u are not the unucky ones. =I Take care all of u. bye. Joyce at 9:39 PM The Big Unknown
Hiz. Starting to feel a bit bored, nothing to do at home. Sleep, eat, play com, read magazines, Watch TV, slack. Mebbe go back school tomorrow. But got the compo haven finish... ugh. Results will be out this friday, 2:30pm. I wonder who will care to ask how i did. haha. As usual, no body, i expect. Mebbe QingChi. But i prob wont have the mood fo reply him cuz too sad. haha. i have absolutely NO confidence in myself this time. But i did all i could i guess. If i still do badly, well, i'm juz lousy la, seriously.
I should STOP watching Big Unknown, the show i recently discovered. A rather cool show, i tink quite long ago show le, some sort like reality TV. Every day(episode) juz follow three University Students， I Jun, who studies medcine at UCL (University College London), Pat who studies in S'pore U, and Paul who studies some sport thingy at a uni at Melbourne. Ya, so it's basically abt their uni life in three different places. But somehow the more i watch, the more i want to be like them, not the S'pore one though. She seems so stressed up, and she says in S'pore she got no time to do much leisure stuff. Pub Culture in London is very rampant though, however great i tink the place is. Melbourne is a slacker's paradise, just seeing Paul going around, seriously doing nothing is fun, however bo liao. Weather is said to be the biggest problem for S'pore students in London. Melbourne has loads of Singaporeans, so not dat big a prob. Student Union in UCL provides the support needed, though one still has to look out for oneself there. The tube doesn look that safe, seriously. =P Melbourne has these tram thingys, the transport network, quite cute. haha. Pretty dumb of me still wanting to go overseas, cuz in every single episode, the three student's main diet seem to be circulating arnd cup noodles, I Jun just commented today abt how she has to lug her laundry to the laundrette on a freezing cold morning, vaccuum her own place etc. Overseas studies seem really tough, but nevertheless worth it. A chance to see the world, to be on your own and experience some hardship, big change frm the sheltered life here in Singapore. Howevere, the toughest part is standing firm i tink, since most prob will get huge culture shock when u go someplace else more westernised. And those advice jie told me... haha, first hand account. All depends i guess, but i would grab any opportunity that comes round for me to go overseas. =) If i can't... i'll go visit my friends overseas occassionaly? Hahaha.... Clara and Sin May cannot escape ar.... cuz my first visitng stop will confirm be Australia. (Though i most likely wont go study there. Too many pple. haha.) Crossing my fingers till friday. pple, pray for me okie?? Thankew thankew!!!! See ya all. Joyce at 6:49 PM Going Crazy**
Aiyoh... so confusing, rumours are flying all abt the place, esp acrodd cyberspace. But the dates are basically wed-fri, one of these days. Anywayz, its been ultra stressed up these days, in fact, i tink i snapped a little, becoming as cranky as ZhiJie. Haha, that siao little boy has been laughing over nothing lately. Guess it MUZ be the stress, rite...?
Another thing, pple... er, it isn easy to build up your trust so quickly. Esp if it has been crushed a few times in a row. Sorry, but i just cant do it. Give me time to heal plz. =I Was ultra disappointed today, seriously, i completely let my guard down when i came to NY i guess, thinking things would be better here. I was wrong, once again, i see. Though it isn half as bad as previous schz. Anyway... i dunno wad to think now lor, prob wont go sch tomorrow... maybe will return on the morning of the results release to return my library book. So if i never get to say Goodbye to u pple in person, plz forgive me. [I tink only 04A1 will noe wad i'm toking abt.] Sunday after church i went to Iona's bdae bbq. It was pretty ok. Apart frm seeing once again the awful side of ACJC pple, and seeing Kenneth Goh (Iona's bf, frm ACJC). I met Iona's best fren, also called Joyce, also sharing the same chinese surname, Chen, also wearing pink, and also in choir. Dun reallly wana talk abt it i tink. Still tink it was an alrite night though. 明天会更好？ Joyce at 9:23 PM 魔幻季节
魔幻季节(主唱: 梁咏琪)
词:易家扬 曲:李偲菘 生活像悬疑的小说 下一页剧情是什么 我相信没有人晓得 世界究竟怎么了 也许是我也闷得太久 也许是我今天着了魔 好想失踪几秒钟 # 孩子似的闭上眼 向前走 回到自己那一国 那个好久忘了去梦的路口 *我喜欢孤单冒险 追踪梦的线索 我的注册商标是自由 再也不想做 无聊的那个我 我走向魔幻季节 原来那么快乐 我连呼吸都是幸福的 换一个角度 去看另一个地球 爱情的范围 谁画的出呢 我爱的人剩下了几个 我翻阅记忆的底片 美的丑的 我通通记得 也许是我也闷得太久 也许是我今天着了魔 我好想失踪几秒钟 # * 屋顶上的我 镜子里的我 DALA... 留短发的我 最胆小的我 (都是我) 不回头的我 不回头的我 I like this song. A pretty rought summary of wad i am feeling lately. =I Joyce at 10:42 PM
Fleeting*
大家不要哭
我们还有半个星期在一起的时间 好好利用它 好好珍惜每一分每一秒 留个美丽的回忆 Results will be out in wad... four days?? Sheesh... time passes so quickly... its been 2 months with 04A1, NYJC. 2 months with Iona, Jamie, Ginny, Ruth, Hannah, Sherry, Angie, Pearly, Emily, Siew Tee, Veronica, Clarence, Raymond, Alson, Daniel, Norman and William. And all dat is about to end rather soon. The class blog is filled with a rather bleak mood cuz of dat, farewell speeches made, eyes teared, hugs exchanged... haiz. But starting to understand the sentence: - dont cry because it's over , smile becoz it happened - Seriously, been feeling out of sorts for quite some time. Also been mentally drained, result of alot of stuff. I'm not saying NY is not a great place, just dat i might not be staying. Quite high possiblity in fact. I dunno why, mebbe its juts some small personality clashes, mebbe its just the waking up early issue, maybe its something else, i dun really noe. 很久没有笑了,好像都忘了微笑的感觉... I wonder when i will smile again. Not the kinda momentary smile,but one that lingers in your heart. Reality bites, no doubt about that. Many many things are fake, instead, its hard to find things that are true, that are worth you holding on. This is the time whereby you question everything you have, or had. You challenge many stuff u use to believe so much in. You begin to see how stupid you've been, how naive. You find it harder and harder to trust, to have faith, in anything or anyone. You become a sad person due to all these, because you seem to have lost all that you had. The things and people that were so precious to you turns out to not be as it use to be. You start wondering who and what are real, who aren't. 如果这就是成熟 我宁可永远做个婴孩 I saw David's smile again today. I think he is the only few left that can make me smile, even if it's for a while. The innocence he shows, the truth he reveals, is more than any adult has. He smiles only when he means it, he knows what "sorry" means and hesitates before saying it, only because he really means it. He wants to hold your hand because he wants you to be with him. He wants you to carry him and bring him to places he doesn't dare to go alone because he wants you to guide and protect him. Went out with Sin May and Monica on wednesday. Sin May's last week in S'pore is this sunday. Haiz, time passes so quickly. We spent so much money dat dae lo... eating and eating and eating... but we talked quite alot, dats good i guess, never feel like talking much to pple lately, alot cooped up. But still din tell them alot, just casual stuff... guess Sin May understands more since she wuz frm NY. Monica wuz frm TJ, so the environment was different. Told Sin May abt the HCJC graduate teachers flooding NY, the student council now etc. Sin May, do take care in Perth... Joyce at 9:41 PM 了解
因为太了解所以很伤心
没有你只能听着风的呼吸 确有种叫做时间的东西 说没问题 最后我们会痊愈。 因为太来了解我无法坚定 这一次会要掉眼泪的决定 有些遗憾只能一个人听 很对不起 我还是珍惜所有的事情。 ~了解~ Stef Sun Remembered this song again, like it quite alot. =) Tune quite nice too. Listening to "Shall We Talk" now... haha, not bad not bad, although i won understand much without the lyrics. =P Joyce at 12:25 PM
The MIA smile
Din smile much yesterday, wasn in a good mood. Hannah and Jamie tried to cheer me up, it worked a little, i guess, esp when Jamie told me she got our huang cheng tickets. Yay. Although i'll be sitting with a whole big bunch of RGS girls... cuz the tickets are like together, but at leat i have Jamie wif me. She's a nice RG girl. Haha, she wuz defending RGS the other day when we were leaving Sentosa cuz someone mentioned that RGS pple and RI pple very proud. (So happens, NYJC has its share of both.) Wadeva la, doesn really matter to me, nor affects me much. btw, Jamie, if you're reading, thanks for helping me get the tickets again!! =) =)
I saw Nathaniel (aka Nat, the Vice-Pres of 26th student council, in case u all dunno, he wuz also my orientation clan emperor.) near the council room in the morning after Econs when i wuz searching all over for Jamie, Hannah and the rest of the CT. I tink he saw that i din smile at him this time, so he waved and smiled his big bright smile.haha, it cheered me up a bit, but prob only for like that particular second. And speaking of student council, i haven went to see Jayne (Again, for those who donno Jayne, she;s the President of our student council, and my partner official for the cross country[see previous posts]) cuz she asked me to look for her at council room... and i haven bought her v-dae present too. Haiz. Everyone who was arnd at the beach on V-dae are all sunburnt, Jamie, Angie and Michelle looked worse than anyone else. Haha. I'm not that bad, only on saturday during YF Fonghwa and LingZhi asked if i got sunburnt cuz they said my face wuz ultra red. haha... jie din tink so though, when we went home together she said i din look as red as fonghwa and lingzhi had said.*shrug* Jamie and i helped Ms Cara Chew with decorating the literature homeroom yesterday after school ended, before my choir. Raymond, me, William, Jamie, Hannah and Emily helped out during the break before GP too, putting up stuff and vacuuming the place. Raymond was very funny la, he vacuumed the pillows etc. Than cuz Jamie was so badly sunburnt and cant carry her slingbag, Raymond carried it arnd the whole day. haha... a guy with a bright blue flowered slingbag with a pink flower on it just looks comical. Anyway, all that decorating and cleaning wuz cuz the press is coming in today to film or take pictures and interview and stuff. Daniel and Raymond said they want to get interviewed. haha. i din even go school today, sick again, couldn see the press, but actually not too big a deal either. =) Jamie's ODAC guy, Alson wuz seen with the Cedar girl, Xiao Jun, the one HuiYan and HweiYun both told me was erm... not very nice. Or as Jamie put it, the J1 resident Flirt, though she used a stronger word. She's(XiaoJun, not Jamie) always all over guys, i guess dats how she earned this reputation within first week of school. Well, no comments abt her, i don noe her personally, i talked to her once when i heard her talking bad abt HweiYun. haha... So... Anyway, she wuz like hanging arnd Nathaniel first, then now Alson. Haha. No wonder everyone i noe is like mad with her. Tomorrow i'm going out with Sin May and Monica cuz i tink Sin May going back to Australia soon. Wen Hao returned to Perth yesterday. Haha... i'm meeting Sin May at Far East before Choir. Joyce at 11:57 AM The 'we' of yesterday
Wuz just talking to a fren. Hmm... actually,
wad happened to the "we"? Probably left in the yesterday... Does that mean it is lost forever? 再见是最难说出的两个字 因为它骗人 它其实代表不再见 Joyce at 11:55 PM
The song from CY
閉起雙眼你最掛念誰 眼睛張開身邊竟是誰
--人来人往-- I like this line. Its frm a song CY sent to me. =) Joyce at 11:28 PM
Vdae, without the V.
Valentine's day (without a valentine) wuz spent at Sentosa, school's cross country. I wuz an official, pretty cool. My partner wuz Jayne, the president of the student council. haha. And there wuz Rashidah, MingBoon etc with me too. We were clasking at our station, basically eating chips, drinking ice cold water, crapping and taking photos. Haha... we sound like tourists. Then after cross country i went to look for my CT for our CT outing at the beach. Apparently i wasn keen on getting burnt in the hot sun, so i sat in the shade of the lifeguard stand almost the whole time (i still got a little burnt though...)
Since 6:30am this morning once i reached NYJC, Jayne, Rashidah, MingBoon etc all gave me chocolates for v-dae presents. I wuz like "Uh-Oh." cuz i din expect it. Rashidah even cut bread into heart shapes and fried them. So sweeeet rite. haiz. and i din get anything for her? The rest of the day was filled with v-dae presents frm all sorts of pple... got so much chocolates(all the diff. brands...) i dunno wad to do wif them. GEEZ. the guys even got me a box of chocolates in a heart shape box with a heart shaped (its supposed to be heart-shaped, but i guess the guys cant really cut very well) paper. So nice. Haha. Then me and Jamie went town to eat. Haha. Me and my vanilla milkshake. =) But it wuz really nice of Jamie to try and keep my company in the shade at the beach though i noe she wanted to get tanned. Thanx Jamie. And den the MRT wuz clogged up with pple that we had to miss dunno how many trains everytime we try to board one. As such, i wuz late for half and hour for YF. sorry... Just finished watching Moulin Rouge, not bad... haha, i mean, i dont usually watch these sunday nite movies, but i heard abt Moulin Rouge since P5... frm ZhiQing, i remember. It wuz a touching love story, but nevertheless a bit un-real. It wuz too theatre, too drama. Nichole Kidman was pretty good. =) {The greatest thing, you'll learn, is to love, and be loved in return} {How wonderful life is, now you're in this world} {Come what may. Come what may.} --Moulin Rouge-- Joyce at 10:07 PM 可以不走吗?
你那依依不舍的眼神
让我再次回到了我们的过去 你的每个微笑 你说过的每一句话 我们每次眼神的交错 都从我的记忆库中跳了出来 在挥别的那一霎那 我的眼眶湿了 飞机从跑道缓缓地往上飞 我慢慢地看着你离去 只能希望我能渐渐地将你淡忘 Joyce at 9:04 PM
离去?
欢笑中开始凸显了一点点的不舍得
不管接下来是如何 是继续在这里和你们一起 是回到之前想要去的地方 或是到一个从来没想过会到的地方 我都答应你们这段美好的记忆 我一定会紧紧抓着 生命中有好多好多的未知数 下一步如何， 我们都不可能知道 只能静静的、有耐心的等 等候一个指引我们的路标 Joyce at 8:49 PM The cross frenz from Sentosa
Lots more post from the various polytechnics.
Hmm...today ultra tired, had the cross country trial run (I'm an official, not running.) at Sentosa. So tiring, we no need run, but we walked so much tink my legs gonna break. I'm grouped with Rashidah, MingBoon, Si Zhen, Pei Shan and Jayne. Ya, our station quite fun... is got shade, got seats one. =) Haha, and the other members in my grp are year 2s, so they let me slack... These pple are really fun lor. Like we laugh and laugh the whole afternoon and evening when we went for dinner at Habourfront Macs. Everything wuz so funny... and i realise MingBoon and Rashidah are both from bowling. Argh... this week gonna be quite tiring, everyday, even on saturday has to wake up early go home late. Today trial run, tomorrow CNNY, friday got some crap too. Sheesh, its prob not only tis week but the rest of my "first three months". Nvm, just sleep more, come online less, try to finish all tutorials. TRY. No inspiration or mood to tink much lately, so cant write much, much less anything literary, even in chinese. Next time mebbe, and doubt u pple wld be interested in wad i write anywayz. ta-ta =) Till next time. Joyce at 9:14 PM 受伤*
又受伤了。这次是脚受了伤。
妈妈说：“每次嘉凯不在你一定有事的的." =================================================== Went to uncle Anson's wake service yesterday. I am not really close to him, but i felt really sad cuz he was a really really nice person. He cared alot for teens and youth. He cared alot abt the work of the Lord. He loved children... but now he passed away before his first child was born. He smiled alot, as pple who noe him can see. I cried. I saw ZhiQing cry. I saw many many who cried. PeiHua laoshi is right, however, God has plans for him God does things for a reason. This was part of his perfect plan for uncle anson. =================================================== Joyce at 10:41 AM
04 January DreamZz* 04 February DreamZz* 04 March DreamZz* 04 April DreamZz* 04 May DreamZz* 04 June DreamZz* 04 July DreamZz* 04 August DreamZz* 04 September DreamZz* 04 October DreamZz* 04 November DreamZz* 04 December DreamZz* Feeling... dreamz counter* |
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